I know I have mentioned this whole zombie sleep-walking thing before, but it hasn’t really stopped. I’m sure that Claire thinks I’ve lost the plot entirely, but other than being annoyed at myself for doing it, I can’t really do much about it. Sometimes it’s funny, especially in the morning telling Claire about what I’ve been up to!
As I said before, I used to do this sleep-walking thing when I was at university and came home for the weekend. But since Jack’s came along, I have started to do it again, I thought because of the lack of sleep I was getting. I thought when he went into his own room, I’d be ok again, as I’d be getting more sleep… yeah, right.
What I do, is that I get up in the night and begin hunting around for Jack. Then, when I start to worry about him not being there, I wake up and realise that I'm being a dope and simply get back in bed and I fall asleep straight away.
Last night in particular, I got up around 3ish and was looking on top of the bed for Jack. I mean, actively hunting around for him, lifting folds of the duvet, sliding the doors to the wardrobe open and everything. In the past, I have been known to look inside pillow cases, as this seems to be the most logical place for Claire to put Jack in the night, of course. I even thought in the night that Claire was looking for him too, and I thought I had found him and so I asked Claire if she wanted to take Jack. Saying something aloud, must have stirred me a little, and so if I dreamt that Jack was there, then he instantly disappeared, making me worry a bit more, hence waking me up properly. On waking myself up properly, I soon realise properly what I’m doing and just shrug it off and get in bed.
I think the other night, I even tore one of the pillow cases trying (whilst fast asleep) to find the baby.
Claire is of course, mostly oblivious to all of this. She sleeps through almost everything, and maybe it’s a good thing that she does, as I’d spoil her night’s sleep as well as mine!
Claire thinks I am worried about Jack, and this is causes me to have these dreams/nightmares/episodes. Maybe subconsciously I am, but I don’t think that I am particularly. Well, of course I’m worried about him and don’t want anything bad to happen to him as a whole, but I think that any parent will say that. I know that if Claire was worried about him, then I’d know about it, and I think that is what makes me realise in the night that it’s just me that wandering around again, as she’s fast asleep – if there was something to worry about, she’d be a touch more concerned.
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