Well, the baby is very definitely here, as is very evident from our house! Every room seems to have been attacked with baby stuff, ranging from piles of clean clothes and stacks of nappies and sterilising equipment. But more importantly, Claire, the mother of our baby is back again to be interviewed about things post-birth. See part one here.
BR: So, wife. Jack is home and three weeks old already. What do you remember about the birth? Good stuff, bad stuff, any pain??
CR: Feeling like I wasn’t there. You rambling on during the birth and me thinking I needed to concentrate. Then hearing them say about the cord wrapped around his neck and then hearing him cry soon after. Everything else went in really fast-motion, as it seemed like it was happening to someone else.
BR: Well, I was trying to take your mind off things, or to try to ease your nervousness. What do you mean about it feeling like it was happening to someone else?
CR: It was like I was watching it on telly, rather it was me that they cut open to get a baby out.
BR: Was it like an out-of-body experience?
CR: No, like... this isn’t me.
BR: Who else would it be? Explain.
CR: I don’t know... It was more like being in a state of shock and not knowing what was going on. I was tired, worried and all that.
BR: Well, to be fair, it was a really long day! And, you were having the contractions earlier in the day which seemed to take it out of you on a regular basis.
CR: Not for long though, as I had the epidural at about 10ish, didn't I?
BR: So you’re a believer in epidurals? They work then?
CR: Yeah! Really good. People had said about them in the past, such as at the NCT classes but it’s not the same as feeling it first-hand. First the pain was there, and then the next minute when the epidural kicked in for the first time, it wasn’t there!
BR: Did it hurt when the anaesthetist was putting the epidural in?
CR: No, didn’t feel a thing.
BR: I couldn’t see any of it, as I was facing you as you were curled up on the edge of the bed. Do you remember what you were thinking at that point?
CR: Don’t have a contraction, because I would have moved and was worried I’d be paralysed or something
BR: Right... but once the pain relief was working, I knew you couldn’t feel anything when you glanced over at the machine and saw that the monitoring machine was drawing lines to suggest that you was having a contraction but hadn’t noticed. But during the operation, was it really that good?
CR: Do you not think I’d would have been screaming and crying when they came at me with a knife??
BR: Okay – good point. The fact they were sticking pins in your belly to ‘test it’ made me smile. So, tell me about once they had cut you open what could you feel? Anything?
CR: Tugging, that was it.
BR: You mentioned about when the surgeon counted the number of times that the cord was wrapped around his neck – what was going through your head at this point?
CR: I don’t know – relief I suppose, thinking that I was glad that he wasn’t born normally, as things could have gone really wrong.
BR: To be honest, I didn’t know what to think at the time either – she seemed quite surprised and so did the rest of the people in the room. Anyway, it didn’t seem like long before he was lying on your upper chest, all smelly and slimy...
CR: ...covered in poo...
BR: Yeah – didn’t she say he looked like an alien when she had pulled in out, as he was all green because of the poo?
CR: (shaking her head) – I don’t remember much of that bit... probably wasn't paying much attention.
BR: Hmm maybe not. Ok – what about after the birth, but before you came home? What was the stay in hospital like after the birth compared to before?
CR: I was in a different ward, one where everyone had a baby, including me!
BR: I don’t remember there being much noise from other babies?
CR: Er, yeah there was! You wasn’t there at night times, as I can assure you that there was!
BR: Yeah, yeah - so you say. Did it seem like forever that you was in there?
CR: Because I was awake day and night, it felt like a lifetime, and because I hadn’t seen the outside for days!
BR: Yeah, you missed all the fun with the snow... the country was at a standstill, roads were closed, new dads couldn’t get there and you were none the wiser.
CR: Well, it stopped you getting to see me and Jack until a bit later in the day, so it did have an impact on me a little bit!
BR: I know. But I got there in the end though. I’m just glad it was the day AFTER you had given birth, as I would have been gutted if the snow had come down the day before, as guaranteed sod’s law says it would have been that day that Jack was to be born...! Anyway, was about the drive home – was it good to be free again?
CR: Yes, but with an overwhelming sense of responsibility. We had a little baby to bring home forever.
BR: What about the first night at home with Jack in the house?
CR: Best night’s sleep I had had in a week!
BR: Even with us both getting up each time he rolled over?
CR: No, you did. You seemed to react everytime he moved!
BR: I know, I know... I’m getting used to ignoring him as time goes on. You seem to sleep ok though... to the point that I have to nudge you and tell you that he’s crying...
CR: He doesn’t need picking up each time he cries, you just need to rock him to sleep sometimes, and he’s ok...
BR: ...and I think that’s the bit I struggle with – in the night, when he cries, I wake up thinking that he has been crying for ages. And the fact that I am now awake, I suppose my first reaction is to try to get him back to sleep. Does he do that in the day too, when I am at work?
CR: Sometimes. Sometimes he goes back to sleep straight away, sometimes he needs rocking and sometimes he just wants a cuddle and then he’s happy again.
BR: So, he’s feeding ok now?
CR: Well, yes, he’s putting on weight so he must be feeding ok.
BR: I meant in terms of the booby-juice production.
CR: I am still expressing the milk for him, but as long as he’s having it then it’s ok.
BR: And a bit more convenient too, as we can bottle it and store it in the fridge until the minute he wants it. Is it 48hrs it can be kept for? Have you got to the point of making too much and throwing it away?
CR: Only once, as it had been in the fridge for just over two days, and we had plenty.
BR: And he’s drinking lots – about 100mls each time, and about 9 drinks a day?
CR: Give or take.
BR: Projectile vomiting is good too, eh? He’s got good range for such a young lad.
CR: Yeah..
BR: ...must be from your side, as I don’t remember ever throwing anything up... Actually, don’t answer that. Anyway, three weeks on, two weeks of which I have been back at work. Are routines emerging from all of this already, or are we still in random-mode?
CR: No, I think we’re getting a routine going. It’s a bit more difficult in the morning when you go to work, as I need to express [the booby-juice] and if he wakes up, I can’t pick him up properly. Once he’s fed and had his nappy changed, he’s ok for a while, leaving me time to do things in the house.
BR: Is the baby monitoring working out ok?
CR: It’s good, as once he’s asleep, the parent-end is wireless and I can carry it with me into different rooms.
BR: Have many people been over to see you both?
CR: Yes, lots of people and they’ve all bought us lovely gifts for him. Being here, it has helped to pass the days when I am here by myself with Jack, as the day can be quite boring, as I am used to being at work 40hrs a week.
BR: Has Facebook been a ‘must-have’ like they said about in the antenatal classes?
CR: Don’t get a chance to look since he’s been born!
BR: Have you managed to catch on lots of good recorded tv shows?
CR: No, not really, the only time I watch telly is when I am expressing – I’ve got a baby to entertain!
BR: So - I have got to ask. How do you think I am doing as a new dad? Bearing in mind that you are my prize witness of seeing how I was before with other people's babies...
CR: (She's thinking about it)... You’ve... suprised me.
BR: Uh? What does that mean...!?!
CR: You seem very comfortable with looking after a baby
BR: Any hints, or tips? Maybe an area of baby-world that I’m not particularly good at, or need to improve upon? Maybe I am doing something wrong and it makes you cringe but not say anything?
CR: You go through too many changes of his clothes! If his clothes are even slightly dirty, you put new ones on! The washing machine works way harder over the weekend when you’re here! Other than that, perfect.
BR: Well, I don’t know about that - I’m still learning and I’ll be the first to admit that. But I think my confidence with him has significantly improved, especially compared to when I first held him the hospital as that was more scarey than anything.
CR: You still look a bit cack-handed with him at times, but I’m sure he doesn’t mind too much.
BR: Speaking of which... we had better call this a night, as our young man will be waking shortly! Thanks for doing this second interview, wife. Hopefully, my interviewing technique will get better one day...
CR: Hmm. Maybe...
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