Night times

Last night was just awful. Jack simply did not want to stop crying - in that, I don't suppose that he wanted the stress of screaming his head off, I mean I was unable to stop him.

*Normally*, I would hold him over my left shoulder and gently bang his back with my right hand which normally soothes him to calm down and sometimes makes him fall asleep. (It even took Claire a while too, so at least it wasn't that he realised who I was and decided to vote with his voice!) We don't know why he was like it, as we'd ticked all the normal boxes of what to do. He really has been good up until that point, as when he's cried it's been because he was hungry or he was sitting on a mountain of yellow baby-poo. Either way, we've been quick to sort it out and return Jack to his non-volatile state, i.e. asleep. But last night, no chance.

Once he was finally asleep Jack later stirred a couple of times in the night; I got up the first time but he fell asleep in my arms and then Claire got up with him the second time and fed him. He ended up sleeping until 7am, which was ok, and so I got up and fed him and left Claire to have a bit of a lay-in. Having said that, she was up not long after, as she's still having to express 'booby-juice' for Jack, which means regular pumping or the build-up of pressure in her boobs will cause a violent explosion. Honest.

I am still a bit not-right about this whole baby thing. I thought my sleeping patterns would have settled down a bit by now, as I still keep waking up to see if the baby is ok, which he is, and there is absolutely no reason for me to keep waking. Maybe I am just crackers. I suppose last night was Friday night and I knew that I didn't have to get up and go to work in the morning and so I was trying to do a bit more of the feeding of Jack so that Claire could sleep.

Generally speaking, I am getting used to feeling a bit more tired than normal, so it's ok. And I am also getting used to not being able to be selfish and do my own thing when I have wanted to, something which Claire has already found out about over the last few weeks and months. Until very recently, if I wanted to play around on the computer for a couple of hours, I could and would. Now, I still want to, and still can do, but it means that I am constantly coming away from the computer when Jack wakes up and screams down the baby monitor.