Tuesday, 10 November 2015
I blinked.
Sunday, 17 May 2015
Back to basics
Originally, just before Claire went into hospital expecting the pending arrival of young Master Jack, I wanted the blog to be about me and my experiences with regards to babies; it’s sort of drifted off-course a little of late and it’s ended up being a log of their activities and so on, and I want to get back to basics on that.
I think that why the blog ‘drifted’ into notes of their funny moments, is that Jack and subsequently Oliver, have since gone and developed their own characters, attitudes, personalities and so forth, and I guess at the time before Jack was born, I wasn’t expecting a ‘person’ to coming back home from hospital and was focusing on the fact that it was a ‘baby’… a generic, non-descript baby, that we happened to have named.
You have to bear in mind, here, that as stated in blog post 1, I hadn’t had close family members with children, nor did I get that involved with those of good friends, which I could have done I suppose, but will leave that for another blog-day. My point being, that I had no real appreciation of babies and the effort that they demand of a parent. (Pretty good job, too, as it might well have put me off!)
Looking back, it’s kind of difficult/weird for a to-be/first-time dad, as these babies almost just appear, yet take 9 months to do so. It’s not so much of a surprise when they do, but for the women with it growing inside of her, there’s a presence all day every day, (and although they let it be known!!) but for the men, it’s just someone else’s belly that gets fatter and fatter. And then woomph, there’s a baby, that then cries and poos all the time at silly o’clock at night.
At the time of both Jack and Oli being born, it was pretty much “there-and-then” with it all, namely, understanding and managing a baby, on a day-to-day basis. Trying to imagine how they’d look, act, behave as a toddler, 4 year old, 6 year old, etc, was just out of the question, but looking back at photos and videos, their development is abundantly clear - the photos almost map-out the transition stages from generic same-as-everyone-else’s wrinkly, crying, poo-machine to now, being my two boys.
Maybe, because Oliver is becoming more and more independent (as a child) that we’ve been used to with Jack, that Claire and I have had more time to chill out and relax a little. For a while now, Oli has been toilet-trained, such that he can take himself to the toilet and not wear nappies and all that, going places is a billion times easier. There’s no nappy bag, twelve changes of clothes to lug around. As we’re able to do this and get real-time verbal feedback from them as to their state, we can plan things, as opposed to re-act, if you get my drift. Being given advance notice that we need to stop the car for a wee is much more civilised than either Claire or I having to grope the crotch of our children periodically to check if they’re ‘packing’. Or worse, getting that waft of poo drift through-out the car, and then almost smelling it for hours later.
More fascinating insights from Brett’s brain next time, but this is almost like the line in the proverbial sand, so to speak.
Thursday, 29 January 2015
Growing up!
Jack is almost six and Oliver’s just had his third birthday.
Seems like they should both be older than they are, as they seem like we’ve never had a life previous to having children. Which is odd, as the time has just flown by, and sometimes I think, ‘Crikey, my YOUNGEST lad is three years old!’, making me feel older than I ought to!
There was a period of time, although I hadn’t blogged about it, that Jack and Oli weren’t getting on too well, probably about a year ago. Oliver would have just found the ability to manipulate people (as all two year olds do!) and Jack hadn’t got out properly from the jealously stage, as we would (undoubtedly) have been giving Oliver the attention that he rightly deserves as a small child, but now we’re cutting down on Jack’s time to ‘service’ Oli. So, I can well see how jealousy sets in, and I probably would have been there myself when I was that age, as we (that had younger siblings) all were.
Nowadays, they’re getting on a bit better, and it’s not so hard to see why. Oli’' has pretty much grown out of any/all of the baby-related paraphernalia and his toys are such that Jack isn’t too old for, and actually wants to play with them too. The sort of thing I’m talking about, is the action figures and castle, with horses, catapults, dragons and all that. (To be honest, it’s really good and it’s easy to play along with them, as a parent!)
Other interests that Jack has, Oli is trying to copy and that helps bring the gap between them in a little. Jack will sit and draw or colour pictures in, or even make some monstrosity of a robot from about 20,000 cardboard boxes and about 17 rolls of sellotape to hold this ‘thing’ together. Whilst he’s doing all of this, Oliver obviously wants to copy and to join in, and so is learning to hold the pens/pencils/crayons/etc and so there’s common ground forming.
The age gap between Jack and Oliver is about the same between me and my older brother, but I guess (simply as I cannot remember but my blogging abilities back then were about as good/frequent as they are now!!) that at the time of being 3 years old that’s how it is and where the fun’s at, so I suppose I would have done the same.
In terms of … patterns … and interest and …. abilities, I can see a little of how Oliver will progress and grow, through seeing how Jack has. The whole point to this blog-thing was because I had zero experience of being around young children, to see what they do, how they learn, and all that. So, taking Jack how he is now, which is to say that he’s genuinely a very bright and intelligent young lad with lots of thoughts and ideas, and then taking Oliver, who is starting to show signs these traits, too… it’s quite rewarding/exciting/interesting/amazing all at once.
What I mean, is that we’ve ALWAYS spent a lot of time with Jack, whether it’s reading, talking to him and explaining things that he’s asked about (sometimes in a little too much detail!). From this invested time and effort, you don’t see day-to-day the differences made or the huge leaps forward in Jack’s growth and development. But when you see that Oliver is pretty much where Jack was three years ago, we know that all of the time that we have spent, and will continue to spend, with Oliver is so very worth it.
Just to expand on that a little, I can’t stress enough the difference it has made to Jack’s reading and writing because of the breadth of his speaking vocabulary, as words that he’s come across in reading and/or writing, he knows and doesn’t give them a second thought, and more importantly, we’re not bogged down each time we pick up a book and have to explain every other word in a sentence. But that’s not to say he’s a big-head and knows everything, but he knows that when we come across something new, he’ll ask what it is and we’ll explain to the point of being able to comprehend it to a certain degree.
I find the best time to talk to either Jack or Oliver is when we’re in the car alone together, going somewhere. We’re both strapped to the seat and not going anywhere without the other, and seeing the same things, to bring the same conversation. So, it’s easy to talk about buses and trucks and lorries and clouds and trees and so on.
Anyway, I think I’ve gone off-piste a little, but there’s some reality behind my idle ramblings, hopefully.